I’m not living in a luxurious house, My daddy doesn’t have an important degree, I’m not clever enough. Maybe these make me easy to be judged but, it doesn’t mean a thing. at first, I don’t think too much about it until I feel so uncomfortable about what they had said.
I still remember how he did such as an unfair thing to me, maybe it’s just a simple thing, but it planted in my deep heart. it feels like he grew roots around my ribcage and sprouted flower just below my collarbones. I remember your dammit eyes glanced at us arrogantly, how your lips spoke and caused resenment. are you satisfying Mr Hero without reward?
When someone decides about her future, and she has already set which way she wants to through. I’m pretty sure that she had planned a solving to face the obstacle that might happened. SO DO I! I think "mine" is none of your business. should I show everything that I have and plan, so you won’t say about lacking of "that"?
when you know nothing. don’t judge other with nonsense.
Magelang (ANTARA News) - Hasil Ujian Nasional 2012/2013 SMP Negeri 1 Kota Magelang, Jawa Tengah, menduduki petingkat pertama nasional dengan nilai rata-rata 9,14. Kepala SMP Negeri 1 Kota Magelang Kunadi di Magelang, Sabtu, menyebutkan dari 162 siswa peserta UN, sebanyak 71 siswa di …
I hope it’s the best choice that I’ve ever made. Finally it’s the result of my efforts. Formerly, my happiness wasn’t fully 100% because of something. It’s rather difficult to choose between “take it” or “voluntary withdraw”. I was so perplexing, I couldn’t give it all away because I had struggled so hard, and this is my occasion to prove that I’m able to reach what I had dreamed.
I’ve decided to take it -after a long time thought- and I have cleared everything that hamper my way to say “Yes I’ll take it”. I hope my final decision will run smoothly although there were so many obstacles happened during the making of decision become final decision. It doesn’t mean a thing, I’m ready to run everything which has been already given by you. I won’t waste this luckiness, I will do everything more painstaking than before. thanks God for always accompanying me in every step that I’ve chosen.
P.s. I’m much obliged for having a bestie like you. promise me that someday, we’ll met and you’ll have said that you had become a successful business woman. love you :)
This is what I’ve been worried lastly. I’m used to doing everything with my own, but at that time you came into my life and make some heavy rotation. It was happened so sudden and make me rather confused for following the “new” way which is really really different from before. It feels like you were my day and I was yours. We met, We loved, we fight, I hate you, yaa that’s the story.
And now everything changes?! Time Time why were you so contemptuous? I don’t need your approbation for making everything back to the first.
H : Mugo Mugo wae sesok pas dewe tuo kowe wae bet sik meninggal ndisik. (Semoga besok pas kita udah tua, kamu aja yang meninggal duluan.
B : Ha ngopo? (emangnya kenapa?)
H : Ben kowe sesok ora ngeroso dewe an meneh. (Supaya Besok kamu ga ngerasain yang namanya sendiri)
Every choice has its own risk. I don’t even know, what’s really going on lately. I just feel so concerned about my live. what should I choose? I just feel that I can’t do every single thing in front of me. I can’t try every crossed road, I can’t walk along the street until I find the best way to move toward. I just want to be focused. then maybe you’ll say that I should try harder harder and harder. I want to do it but I just don’t know how to start and which part I have to do first. I want to encourage myself. I’ve arranged a kind of schedule in my book still there always something which break it into pieces of paper.
In the other hand, I want to ask you a question, whenever you’re given a choice between chance and dreams, what will you choose? that’s the other problems which bound me into a bundle.
Sebelum tengah malam aku menulis ini, sebelum aku tidur, sebelum aku menatap hari esok, sebelum aku menjadi angka 0, sebelum aku merasa lelah, sebelum aku merasa bosan, sebelum aku senang, sebelum aku sibuk, sebelum aku menemukan laut, sebelum aku menaiki gunung, sebelum aku pergi jauh dari rumah, sebelum aku menatap cita cita ku, sebelum aku berjalan di auckland, sebelum aku bertemu kenyataan, sebelum aku bertemu dengamu.
Beberapa hari ini hahahaha kepikiran hal hal yang bikin ketawa sendiri. bukan karena lawakan Jim Carey atau pun kebayang ketidakmutuan Mr Bean. nggak tau juga kenapa apa dan bagaimana, entah efek pra UN apa efek yang lainnya semua hal yang saya pikirkan tak tau berawal dari mana. cepet banget. hal itu yang saya pikirin beberapa hari ini, bukan masalah mau lulus SMA, saya lebih menitikberatkan pada hidup saya yang bergerak cepat, bahkan lebih cepat dari bayangan saya. habis SMA, Kuliah! saya bakalan lebih sering meninggalkan rumah, lebih jarang bertemu orang orang yang selalu saya temui saat ini. apakah semuanya akan sama? saya ingin segera menemukan jawaban atas semua pertanyaan yang selalu menghantui. tapi saya terlalu takut untuk menemui jawaban itu. apakah kelak saya akan merindukan masa masa ini?
beberapa hari ini juga sering flashback ga jelas. keinget pas SD, keinget pas SMP, keinget pas kecil, semuanya ga kerasa tiba tiba udah mau lulus SMA. iya emang terdengar sedikit alay tapi coba dirasain, semua rasanya lebih bermakna. jadi ngerasa beruntung bisa hidup sampai sejauh ini dengan berbagai macam keadaan yang diluar perkiraan.
“aku tidak memilih abu abu. aku memilih biru. asal tahu saja aku merasakan guncangan di ufuk biru sudut mata kananku. aku tidak menyesal. aku tidak menyalahkan Tuhan. aku tidak menyalahkan waktu. ini berjalan sebagaimana mestinya. aku baik-baik saja. aku tidak takut. aku tidak berada di tengah debu yang dihembus angin yang saling menatap. aku yang menatap. aku tidak menyentuh. aku yang diam. aku yang melihat. menerima? aku melihat? aku menerima? aku diam. aku akan mengerti? aku yang mengerti? aku tidak menyentuh. aku akan memahami? paham dengan rasa? rasa guncangan itu? aku diam.”—
“I really want to know the feel of living free. Without any attachments, without any weights hung on these shoulders, without any rule how to think or how to act. I want to know more about this world we are living in.”—
“Yeah finally the truth has been revealed. It is pretty getting of cherry considering that I must passed hard moments of uncertainty. I am so glad, at least I have bunch of friends (even though they’re being bunch of retards sometimes) who have loyalty and care cause they were lifted their hand for me and gave me revelations I must know. Only real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. It was really amusing :)”—
Andy Dufresne, a mild mannered New England banker, is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover. Despised at first by the other inmates because of his introverted manner, Andy slowly forges an unlikely friendship with Red, a seasoned lifer and… Andy Dufresne, a mild mannered New England banker, is convicted of murdering his wife and her lover. Despised at first by the other inmates because of his introverted manner, Andy slowly forges an unlikely friendship with Red, a seasoned lifer and his gang. Soon, Andy also becomes popular with the prison guards, including the vicious Captain Hadley who offers him protection against the jail’s rougher convicts in exchange for financial counseling. The prison warden also takes advantage of Andy’s banking knowledge by exchanging privileges for creative bookkeeping. Over a twenty year period, Andy is able to maintain his sanity and dignity in prison not by physical force but by mental force. His smarts and confidence keep him going and he is able to teach the other prisoners that hope is the ultimate means of survival.
One of the reason why I’m still fight for every single thing. he used his hammer to get out of the prison, and you know, he could!!
"Aku lak wes arep mboncengke kowe to ket mau? berarti kowe tanggung jawabku. wes saiki dinggo jas almamaterku ndak kudanan."(Aku kan udah mau boncengin kamu kan tadi? berarti kamu sekarang tanggung jawabku. udah dipake jas almamaterku, nanti kehujanan)
langsung ga berani ngomong, ga berani ngeliat, udahlah rasanya kayak dipukul, ditepok, ditampar, omongan sederhana, tapi langsung bikin aku diem sediem diemnya. ga tau kenapa dan bagaimana, ada banyak hal yang ga bisa aku ungkapin. rasanya tu kayak jadi ratu dalam beberapa menit. hahahaha
“Being old isn’t fun. I can’t cry when I couldn’t face my day, Parents can’t fix every trouble that I’ve made, Everyone is busy with their business, and also they start to use their mask to get what they need. I miss my childhood.”—
I just don’t know what to do, what to say. “Sorry” ? I think it’s not enough to replace all of things that I’ve done to my previous. Guilty? Maybe. Afraid of karma? No no no. As I said “My Pain today will be yours tommorow” so it’s my consequence. What I have to do now? “saying apologize” until I feel alright? But, I think I don’t take much role of doing “something wrong” something that makes you hurt. Am I the antagonist? Or you make everything looks like that I’m the bad one? and make me feel so guilty with everything? It’s really annoying you know? Insecure with something you don’t know. Every apologize that I’ve said looks like I try to teach a fish to swim.